Reality that has come to pass

Today as I sit before this computer screen thoughts running through my mind these questions I ponder:

In order to fit into the world and the surroundings do we need to change ourselves so much that we loose ourselves completely?

As men and women in America, striving for the American dream-- will we really ever be happy when we reach it?

Finally in order to feel right in the skin we are in--- does loosing weight make us feel better or only make us feel better because the reality of those around us think that we look better. So because we look better "to them" that makes us feel better.

Don't get me wrong I love who I am. I have many strengths and in the eyes of others I am considered a success. How come I feel like a failure and I need to keep on trying to do more.
Is is because I am perfectionist? Do I have OCD? Do I feel like I need to prove something to someone-- maybe myself?
I am not sure but being a woman and not loving myself enough when I look in the mirror I have decided to take a quest. Maybe you might take a ride along with me on this journey.

I am going to prove to myself and the world that not only can I feel good now! but I can feel good by loosing the weight I want to loose, find the love I have been longing for and moreoever change the perspective that we won't judge a book by it's cover-- HA! We all do it. That will never change... but we can change the way we look at the book and maybe make a couple edits to some of the pages.....

This is my journey--- I am going to try to loose 70-90lbs, find true love and maybe change someone's life-- starting with mine.